God is giving me a test, I think I might be failing!

James 1:2–4 

2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

 I will be homeless but not a bum. I have lived a life without God, with many treasures. Now, I will live life with God, without a place to rest my head, or be a burden on my friends. I truly wish my son Eli,  will understand the pain that fills my heart. I can only hope this temporary employment problem can be resolved and our life together joined and healed. 

 It's so interesting to me, to see direction my life has taken. I fix one thing, to have another crash in front of me. Success, monetarily happens when goals are set, goals are met and you work hard for what you have. Its like something or someone is fighting me back, Ive never worked so hard to see everything crash around me.  When I plan a move forward, something takes me back two steps. Trying to understand the direction that seems planned for me is useless. As a river flows, I will float with it. 

I think God must hate me!

Ok, I grew up with a drunk for a mother, my father made me responsible for her actions, car accidents and falls. I lose both my parents before the age of 22. I get married have a child, wife finds a b/f on-line, divorce after 25 years together. Economy goes to hell, lose my store, my credit score. Take the little money from my divorce buy a little cottage. I get my first set of tax papers this year. My truck is being repossessed, my motorcycle has already been taken. I call the sewer board member about my hook-up, he says to me, we have a lean on your house, don't worry, its just in case you sale it. I pay all my taxes , oh except the one the grinder is on. The sewer board member,said dont worry, we will send you all the information how to hook it up, and (HE) would even come by to help me if I needed it. I never get the papers n the mail, but I do get a tax statement today for one thousand nine hundred dollars, and my PAID IN FULL cottage will be up for tax sale the end of Sept.  Ive sent out job applications everywhere, I keep cleaning and installing carpet. But its over. I went from not owing a dime on my house to homeless because of this SHIT GRINDER they stuck in my yard. Ive read the bible Ive prayed, I have helped people my entire life.  I dont understand what I have done thats so wrong, why is he so mad at me?